Halloween Perversion and Why it is my Favorite Holiday

Everyone knows that Halloween is my favorite holiday.  Perhaps its because growing up with just me, my Dad and my little brother, the typically jovial holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years' were anti-climactic and even downright depressing.  It was the worst feeling in the world for a kid to get back from a miserable Christmas vacation only to hear all the other kids bragging about the expensive presents they received, when I would get something worth about $30 -- if anything at all!

Halloween was my holiday refuge.  Since everyone dressed up for Halloween, it was also the one day where I could blend in and feel comfortable.  I could let my freak flag fly, loud and proud! And I could be who ever I wanted to be on that day. 

When I pick a costume, I start thinking about it as soon as the day after Halloween, and plan (in my head) all year long.  I am usually introduced to a person or character, and become obsessed with the idea of being them for a day.  I store that person/being in my memory bank, sometime for years, and when it feels right I select that particular idea.  Once that years costume is decided upon - I get really into it - planning the most subtle details far in advance.  One year, I was Sharon Tate (dead, of course) and I went as far as to study her autopsy report to make sure the clothes, wounds, etc. were all historically accurate.  Later, as an ode to the success of this past costume and as a token of my appreciation to her spirit for guiding me that night, I made sure to thank the woman herself!

(Above: Paying my respects to Sharon Tate Polanski and her unborn child at Holy Cross Cemetery, Culver City, CA.)

I also celebrate the spirit of Halloween all year round, by wearing Halloween themed accessories like socks and earrings almost every day.

(Above: Keeping the spirit of Halloween alive each and every day!)

When I saw the film Sin City when it was released back in 2005, I really didn't care for it as a whole.  But what really stuck out to me was the character Kevin (played by Elijah Wood), and how terrifying and psychotic he looked! I knew I wanted to be him someday.  And a few years ago, this dream became a reality.

(Above: Me as Kevin from Sin City.  The secret to pulling off this costume was that everything had to be in black, white or gray like in the film - including my skin.  Also, the all-white reflection of the glasses added an extra level of creepiness.)

Last year, I felt it was officially time to be Carrie.

 (Above: Me as Carrie - Halloween 2009.  The clincher for this costume was the corsage, which I paid a florist to re-create using stills from the film.)

As Carrie, everywhere I went that night people stopped me to take pictures, ran up to me on the street and yelled, "Carrie! Carrie!" and proceeded to hug me (despite my being completely covered in a blood-like substance).  I had never felt so loved! I even won first place in a Halloween costume contest, over hundreds of other people at the club I was at! It was one of the happiest moments of my life.  Not only did I win the affection and acclaim of hundreds, I also won $100 in cash, concert tickets and a $50 gift certificate to a local sex shop! Last year is going to be hard to beat.

So, I have a character in mind for this year that I have wanted to portray ever since I was a teenager.  Laura Palmer.  The time just wasn't right until now.  I have all the items in mind necessary to pull this costume off, so last weekend it was time for me to go out and get them, or at least do some preliminary research.  But first! Its always important to celebrate the season by sporting some crazy Halloween designs on your nails for ordinary citizens to enjoy! I like to give back to the community whenever possible.

(Above: My wacky Halloween 2010 nail designs, orange with little black Franken-scars to match the one on my neck!)

Now that I was in the mood, I set out for my local costume store.  I was shocked by what I found.

Have costumes always been this slutty? Do women actually say, "I want to be a sexy Nurse/Cleopatra/Cop/Waitress/Swiss Milkmaid for Halloween this year?" Is Halloween just an excuse for us ladies to dress like total skanks? Believe me, I have no problem with scantilly clad women.  But that's not what Halloween is about! Is anything sacred? This is the day for people to get creative and take some time to gather the components for some kooky costumes! Not to just buy the pre-packaged "Lovely Lolita" or "Hospital Honey" getups! And women, I think that if you so desire to wear these kind of outfits, you should dress like that anytime of year.  Seriously! Don't be ashamed.  Stop hiding in the preppy shadows and feel free to be the freak that you are!

(Above: Has my obsession with Twin Peaks gone too far? I actually held this "Twin Peeks Ski Patrol" costume in my hands for 2-3 minutes, contemplating whether or not it had a place in my Twin Peaks memorabilia collection.  It even comes complete with a fleshlight! Err, I mean flashlight.)

After wading through the seas of sexy women's costumes, I discovered that the insanity did not stop there.

Apparently, Halloween also gives men an excuse to be total sex creeps.  "Oh, excuse this two foot long phallic projectile that has been bumping into you for the past two hours 'round the punch bowl... That's just my Fire Extinguisher®!" Or. "Hey, what's your name? Wendy? I love that name.  Oh, what's my costume all about? Well, I am a To-Do List of course.  And I'm saving the #1 spot for you!"

And if you thought this perversion was limited to adults... guess again! Pervert designers and pedo-seamstresses are in a sex-covered sweatshop somewhere right now making these outfits for your children!

(Above: Are they 3 or are they 13? Who cares, its Halloween!)

I also found several what I like to call, Confusing Costumes of Degradation.  Whether the costume be degrading to oneself or to others, the reasoning behind the selection of such a costume boggles the mind!

(Above: Bitch Wings and Anita Waxin'.  Need I say more?)

Needless to say, my initial goal of finding the pieces for my own costume was completely sidetracked by worried observation and social criticism.  How could people be doing this to my day? I mean, none of these costumes are even spooky! It ain't right.

So I would like send an S.O.S. to all of my reader(s) out there in the vacuum of cyberspace... PLEASE refrain from buying any pre-packaged sexual costumes this year - whether you be man, woman or infant! Its time to take back the night! Please take a moment right now to come up with an idea (think spooky, not sexy!), and feel the satisfaction of a day's hunting for all the pieces that you will need.  And if you do decide to go the down and dirty route with your costume, watch your back! I may send the Hottie Police out to find you.

(Above: If you bought a pre-packaged Halloween costume in the past 30 days, your name could already be listed in this Hottie Police summons book.  BEWARE!)

To see additional pictures from this excursion (and more!), check out my Flickr page:
http://www.flickr.com/secretgeeksociety/